Single Parent Dating: Dating Negative Nick

Single Parent Dating : Dating Negative Nick

How To Date a Divorced Dad is the Q&A Single Parent Dating Advice section on SingleDad. Our topic this month comes from a female member dating a Divorced Dad who has not gotten over his past relationship and talks negative all the time. How can we help? Read More..

Dear SingleDad,

My name is Sharon, and I am a 36 year old woman who is madly in love with a Divorced Dad. I was briefly married previously, but do not have any kids. My single dad’s name is Nick. He is wonderful father of two incredible children ages 6 and 8. I met him online about three months ago and I have never felt more connected with a man. This is where I need help understanding his situation.

Nick is very moody. In fact, I would be more specific by saying that he is very negative when it comes to just about every conversation we have about life. Conversations don’t always start out negative; they build into a negative conversation. They always seem to circle back to his divorce. Whether it’s about his ex-spouse who cheated on him, financial hardships that he has to overcome, child support, lawyer bills, etc… I sometimes feel like he is talking from a script because the same items I just described come up time after time. I am not a doctor, but I think that these are signs of depression. When I try to talk to Nick about this, he doesn’t see himself talking this way. Often when I bring it up; he will both deny and then apologize about the conversation. I don’t know what to do because I am conflicted. It’s still early in the relationship and I can walk, but I also feel so connected to him that I want to stay.

What should I do?

Sharon,

Nicks behavior is common with divorce. There is a lot of stress, anxiety, and depression involved with divorce. Each man handles stress differently. I am not a doctor either, but I did go through a divorce and I know how I felt in the months after going through the process. Let me tell you, it’s painful.

In your situation, I will have to be general in my advice because you didn’t offer enough details about things that are important to know such as how long Nick has been divorced. What I can say is that you have only known Nick for three months and that is still early in the dating process. I am glad you feel a connection with him, however, make sure you are dating this man for all the right reasons. What I mean is that you want to make sure you are in the right frame of mind as well.

Do not “Fix or Rescue” a divorced man.

Many women who date divorced dads turn to their nurturing instincts and feel that they can “rescue” their man out of their situation. The attempts are honorable, however they can turn devastating. I don’t mean to frighten you, but I have seen women become broken emotionally and financially by trying to fix their SingleDad from circumstances beyond their control and resources. It’s not worth it. Negativity in conversations is one thing, but if these fits of negativity turn more aggressive or violent; move on.  I am not saying he is going to be violent, however, what I am saying is make sure you get your boyfriend professional help if you want to help him address these conversations that circle back to unresolved post divorce issues. Direct him to see a licensed professional that can give him the tools to cope with what’s going on in his head.

You deserve a happy and healthy relationship. Make smart decisions when offering to help your Divorced Dad and keep me posted.

-RJ

Are You Dating a Divorced Dad? Ask SingleDad

SingleDad wants to help you understand Single Parent Dating from a Man’s perspective. If you are a Single Woman dating a divorced dad and have a question, or a Divorced Dad seeking dating advice, send us an email to: Dating@SingleDad.com  or CLICK HERE and fill out our form. Your question will be posted to our readers and we will maintain your privacy.