The First Date Part 1: Back in the Saddle

Having your first date after a divorce or loss of a partner can be one of the most challenging and nerve-racking experiences of any guy’s life. However, I have some quick tips and advice that will make it one of the most exciting and memorable events of your new life.

Having your first date after a divorce or loss of a partner can be one of the most challenging and nerve-racking experiences of any guy’s life. However, I have some quick tips and advice that will make it one of the most exciting and memorable events of your new life.

Top 5 things to remember on a first date:

1. Be Presentable

Invest in a haircut. The “just woke up” look doesn’t cut it anymore. Make sure fingernails are cut, you are wearing “light” cologne. Guys, deodorant and body wash doesn’t count! If you have facial hair, trimmed is fine; scruffy is out, unless you really play in a band and you name is “Axel” or “Duff”

2. Remember Your Manners

Be on time! Nobody should keep a girl waiting, especially on the first date. When you pick her up, don’t forget to open her door. Yes, the car door and the restaurant door. If you are going to dinner, remember to have her lead to the table, scoot her seat in and relax. Manners and chivalry are always fashionable. Don’t forget the simple things, chew with your mouth CLOSED! Use the fork and knife separately, hold the fork like your… well, you know… not like a caveman!

3. Pick the Right Restaurant

When picking a restaurant, open your conversation by asking her what she likes to eat first. Gather some “intel” on her likes and dislikes and REMEMBER them. Huh? Yes, remember if she is allergic to shellfish before you drive up to the Red Lobster! If she has no particular preference, always pick something casual, something “above fast food but below high brow”. You don’t have to go overboard. Your first date can be just as fun going to a sports bar if she likes sports. The key is to listen to what she likes.

4. Dress Appropriately

It all depends on the location and the event. For a guy, it’s always better to be a little bit over dressed, than under dressed, (with the exception of a tuxedo!) No beach sandals or flip flops unless you really are at the beach and your name is “Dude”. Besides, if you haven’t gotten a pedicure lately, your date will notitice. We don’t realize that the savvy women are very in tune with those details. No T-shirts tucked in, invest in some casual shoes (not sneakers), get rid of the braided belt… look and feel like you have game!

5. Listen, Listen, Listen

Less talk, more listening. You have gotten this far, now listen! Great conversations are built by listening. Have an opinion, start an opinion. Ask about her day, her interests, (music, books, sports, her kid’s interests). Stay positive even if she is being negative… it could be a test, right? Never argue, agree to disagree and make sure you end with humility and humor. All women love a sense of humor BUT keep it clean and respectful.