Single Dad Dating: Cold Feet
SingleDad wants to help you understand Single Parent Dating from a Man’s perspective. How To Date a Divorced Dad is the Q&A Single Parent Dating Advice section on SingleDad. Today’s article is about cold feet before the wedding day and what to do.
I have 2 kids who are 5 and 8. I’m separated from their mother, but now engaged to someone else. We have been engaged for almost a year now. I was ready, but now that we are planning for the wedding, I feel hesitation. Is this normal? Am I not ready? What do I do?
Thanks for writing to SingleDad! We are here to help. It sounds like you may have some cold feet, which is totally normal, but down below is more answers to your questions.
Honesty is the best policy. Not only to your partner, but with yourself. Get down to the root of this hesitation and follow your intuition. Are you feeling you are not ready to commit to this person and forever vows? Are you afraid of how your children will be impacted? Whether it is deeper than cold feet or just cold feet, being honest and not avoiding this feeling will help you. It is never healthy to bottle things up and go through with a big decision you feel you are not truly ready for. It will cause distance, possible resentment, and hurt. Being honest from the beginning, even if intimidating, is better than a battle you are fighting within yourself that will boil over into other parts of your life. This is your partner, you are each other’s support system, and rock. I don’t imagine either one of you wants to force or hurt each other.
Do you feel you may have rushed this relationship? If so, what is the rush? Why were you so eager to get married but now stepping back? It’s okay to admit your hesitation and if you want to slow things down. Marriage is a huge, life long commitment. Being honest and aware of what timing feels right is important.
- Not The End
We all make choices and have beliefs. Those choices and beliefs we are able to change at any time for our own reasons. If you decided or mutually agreed to not get married, it doesn’t mean it’s the end for you two. If you two truly love one another, have open communication, and provide support the relationship is still there even without a ring. If you realize marriage is not what you want yet, it doesn’t necessarily mean it will all be destroyed.
Good luck and I hope today’s article provides answers. You are aware you feel hesitation, do not feel guilt, but be honest. Figure out why, have open communication, and you will be able to move forward from there.
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