How To Date a Divorced Dad: Life on the Sidelines

SingleDad wants to help you understand Single Parent Dating from a Man’s perspective. How To Date a Divorced Dad is the Q&A Single Parent Dating Advice section on SingleDad. Our question this month comes from a Single Mom dating a Single Dad and is feeling like she is sitting on the sidelines.

How To Date a Divorced Dad: Life on the
Sidelines

SingleDad wants to help you
understand Single Parent Dating from a Man’s perspective. How
To Date a Divorced Dad is the Q&A Single Parent Dating Advice section on
SingleDad. Our question this month comes from a Single Mom dating a Single Dad
and is feeling like she is sitting on the sidelines.

How To Date a Divorced Dad: Life on the
Sidelines

Dear Single Dad,

Hi my name is Rhonda, I’m a
42-year-old nurse with three kids. I’m stepping into a new experience by dating
a divorced dad of 4 who is still living with his parents and is also a
nurse. I know he has a lot on his
plate and with the both of us working nights doesn’t it makes spending time
together challenging. It seems
like everything is going well. We
talk everyday and spend one to times a week with each other. We’ve even been talking future life
stuff together where he says he wants to remodel his home and add rooms to
accommodate our 7 kids. However
lately, he has not been returning my calls and when we do talk it’s every other
day. He is also not taking the
initiative to schedule dates with me but agrees to see me when I suggest. I understand he is busy, so am I. But I
would like it if he could at least reach out and tell me that so I’m not left
wondering if he still wants to continue dating or not.

Signed standing on the
sidelines

Dear Standing on the
Sidelines

Dating a single dad with a lot on his plate can definitely
come with its own set of challenges.
His constantly busy schedule can leave very little time for dating in
his life. Some men have the
ability to balance single parenting while still maintaining a healthy dating
life and/or relationship.
Unfortunately, some can’t which can leave the woman in his life feeling
like she’s just getting the crumbs of their relationship sandwich.

Being too busy is one thing and often a problem many single
parents must deal with, as I’m sure you know. But not being able to communicate he is too busy is
something else entirely. If he
doesn’t know how to communicate when he’s too busy then you have another
challenge on your hands.

How To Date
Communicate

Have you told him that you need him to at least reach out
and let you know when he will be available to see you again? If you haven’t, you may need to be
direct and tell him you need that.
Believe it or not, some guys don’t know women need that. If after you tell him that and he
still keeping you waiting and wondering, then that may his way of telling you
without communicating directly to you that he doesn’t want to spend time
together anymore or at least as much.

Sounds like it may be time for a heart to heart and let him
know that in order for the relationship to work out the best for the both of
you, he will need to take your schedule in consideration as well. Ask him if he would be willing to plan
spending time together on certain days. Even if it’s only one day a week, it may bring you peace
of mind that you can count on a time to see each other. In doing so, you will feel like your
needs are being met as well.
The relationship has a better chance of growing when each partner is
willing to meet the others needs the best they can. If you are always left being the one catering to his needs
including his busy schedule, the chances of the relationship growing and
flourishing in healthy ways is pretty slim.

Selling a Story
or Sharing a Vision?

You can listen to him till the cows come home about
remodeling and expanding his home, but until he can show you that he knows how
to create the blueprint, in other words the plans to do the expansion, that
won’t give you much peace of mind that it will happen. The same can be said with his ability
to plan time to be with you and speak with you. Actions speak louder than words.

If he hasn’t booked time with you at least a couple days in
advance, then fill that time with something else that fills your needs rather
than waiting for him to do it.
Hopefully, in doing so, he will get the message that you have a life too
and if he wants to be a part of it, he needs to meet you half way on the
schedule thing or at least let you know that though he may be busy, it’s
important to him to talk to you and spend time with you and he is willing to
work with you to find the healthy balance so you can both feel satisfied in
this relationship.

Keep me posted

Are You Dating
a Divorced Dad? Ask SingleDad

SingleDad wants to help you understand Single Parent Dating
from a Man’s perspective. If you are a Single Woman dating a divorced dad and
have a question, or a Divorced Dad seeking dating advice, send us an email
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