Dating a Divorced Dad? Ask SingleDad Blog answers all the questions you have about dating a Single Dad. Read about dating a Divorced Dad Entrepreneur…
Dear Ask SingleDad,
I have been dating a divorced dad of 2 (ages 5 and 9) for the past
year who has a full time job, and is also starting his own business.
I realize that this is a "triple whammy" when it comes to us spending
time together. Even though at times it can be frustrating, I completely
understand that some date nights need to be broken due to a change in schedule
with the kids, or maybe even a meeting with a potential client. I’ve
always shown my support, offered help, and never once complained to him about
anything. I just let things go because I know how much his kids and his
business mean to him, and I would never want to get in the way of that.
My issue is that I usually have to initiate our dates, (meaning
when he doesn’t have his kids, I’d have to be the one to call him up just to
confirm and ask him if he wants to have dinner). This routine is getting
old. I am the one who has to initiate contact with him. If I don’t contact him,
sometimes I don’t hear from him for days… How do I explain to him that a
simple, 10 –minute call means a lot to me and that I need him to show more
interest in me? Is that asking for too much? Tell me, SingleDad,
being an entrepreneur and single dad, is this typical behavior for him to be so
busy not to contact me?
He is a great guy and I love being with him, but I’m having
trouble with his lack of communication and follow up.
– Dating a Divorced Dad Entrepreneur (DDDE)
Let me tell you a story,
Once upon a time a man met a woman and they both fell in
love. They got married, had kids and built careers together. Everything was
fine, but then one day, (for various reasons, of course) they fell out of love
and decided to get a divorce. Everything they built together was destroyed.
Courts decided to divide up everything they built together, (some things, not
equally). Both the Man and Woman
have to start over with life again. The most important thing to both them is
the time they have with their most treasured asset: The Children. The next
important thing is for them to rebuild their lives and careers as a Single
Parent. Their lives change forever with their joint custody. They act
different, they live different and they don’t realize how their behavior
appears different to others who love them….
There are two approaches to address your situation. You can
offer a “face to face” talk, or perform the same advice using a letter/email. I
prefer the “face to face” talk. Emails can be misunderstood and lose the
meaning behind the text. With that said, let’s move on…
Dating Divorced Dad Entrepreneur
It appears that the Single Dad that you are dating is very
busy and has a hard time paying attention to just one thing at a time. I would
recommend the following:
Get him alone and begin your conversation by saying that “I
care, and You Count”. You have every right to share how you are feeling.
Explain the “Emotional Bank Account” that you have in your heart.
Like all checking accounts, you need to have money in the
account to draw checks. Doing good things that make you feel loved are like
“deposits” and doing hurtful or sad things are like taking “withdrawals” from
your checking account. Right now you are feeling like he is writing “bad
checks” and the account is overdrawn right now. Explain the actions to him in
these terms on all the things he does. Start with the “Deposits” and be
positive with all the good things he does in the relationship… Get it?
Now discuss the “Withdrawals, bounced checks, etc…”. Make
sure you offer detail and make sure you are explaining how “YOU Feel”. Never
explain your feelings on how a person “Makes you feel”. Nobody can make you
feel anything; you have to be constructive on how you feel with certain
actions, like the fact that you have to initiate a call or text to him. When
you are done with these withdrawal topics, talk together about a working
In my experience, I have found that it was easier to ask my
girlfriend, “How’s the balance in my account?”. It was part humor as well as my way of asking if I was
working too hard and losing my balance between my family, girlfriend and
career. Give this approach a try and let me know how it works.
Dating a Divorced Dad?
Are you a woman dating a SingleDad or are you a Divorced Dad
wanting tips on dating a single woman? Email and Send us your dating and
relationship questions to: info@SingleDad.com
Richard “RJ” Jaramillo, is the Founder of SingleDad.com, a website and social media resource dedicated to single parenting and specifically for the newly divorced, re-married, widowed and single Father with children. RJ is self employed, entrepreneur living in San Diego and a father of three children. The mission of SingleDad is to help the community of Single Parents “Make Life Happen…Again!”
Richard “RJ” Jaramillo, is the Founder of SingleDad.com,
a website and social media resource dedicated to single parenting and specifically for the newly divorced, re-married, widowed and single Father with children.
RJ is self employed, entrepreneur living in San Diego and a father of three children. The mission of SingleDad is to help the community of Single Parents
“Make Life Happen…Again!”