Ask SingleDad: How To Be a Better Date

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Dating a Divorced Dad Blog from SingleDad offers helpful advice for the dad getting out there and dating for the first time after divorce. SingleDad shares the Top 3 things not to say when you are on a date. Read more.

Ask
SingleDad: How To Be a Better Date

SingleDad asked our Dating & Relationship expert, Karen
Lee Poter to take on a ‘Special Ops” assignment. We asked Karen to go on a few,
online blind dates with Divorced Dads and asked her to take some mental notes
on the things her dates were talking about. Our goal was to find out what
things Men discuss that are complete turn offs, versus turn ons.

Over the month of November, here is what Karen shared with
us…

“What Do You do for a
Living”-
Now this question is harmless, but I found it unnecessary for a
man to elaborate on the details of his job or income. One man I was with decided
to describe every facet on his sources of income, such as the recent
transactions, deposit amounts and balances. I was bored and lost interest with
this date when he began to explain these details.

First off, this is a first date. Women are more attracted to
a man who offers his values in his job. When you talk about your job, we are
looking for the traits of your ambition, intelligence and drive to succeed;
wealth is a consequence of these traits. The point is, don’t talk about money
on a first date.

“What is Your Family
Like?” –
Now, I am from the Mid-West and my family and I have our own,
unique quirkiness; however, I was surprised how many men dove into this
question and offered way too much detail about their family dysfunction on
their first date. “My Mom is an asshole” was one comment I received from one
date. He went on to talk about not speaking with is siblings in over 5 years
and describe a family disagreement they had over the Christmas holiday 6 years
ago.

The point is, this topic should be discussed down the road
when a relationship is established. I am not a therapist; I am a woman on a
date. If there is family strife, please be classy and just describe your family
relations as “independent and distant” and I will know to table that
conversation…

Blind Date

“Do you want more
Children?”-
This question
comes with the territory of dating the divorced dad. Hearing this question from
all of my dates did not surprise me; I think it is both relevant and important
for some men to find out what a woman is looking for in a relationship,
however, timing is everything.

Not every woman who dates a divorced dad is looking to start
a new family. Some women like me, already have their family established and
have already been through the diapers and have children off to college. There
are also a lot of friends that I know who like to date divorced dads because
they are the perfect, ‘plug in family’ and have all the qualities of having a ready
made family experience. In my opinion, this question and topic is not to be
spoken during the first date because this subject can develop and change as the
relationship grows. Why lose out on a great woman who may or may not know
exactly what she wants when she first meets you?

Summary

Overall, I loved this past month’s dating adventure and I am
looking forward to sharing more insightful tips on Divorced Dad dating. For
more information about me, check out my links below:

About KarenLee:

Karen Lee Poter is the writer and host of Love-Encore,an
internet talk show about dating, sex & relationships the second time
around. She holds a masters degree in social work from the University of
Illinois, but her expertise on the subject comes from her personal experiences
after her husband passed away. Karen has 3 kids, 2 dogs, and a passion for
inspiring people to laugh and find love again. She has been featured on the
radio, books and several blog sites. www.love-encore.com

Love Encore Logo

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Richard JaramilloRichard “RJ” Jaramillo, is the Founder of SingleDad.com, a website and social media resource dedicated to single parenting and specifically for the newly divorced, re-married, widowed and single Father with children. RJ is self employed, entrepreneur living in San Diego and a father of three children. The mission of SingleDad is to help the community of Single Parents “Make Life Happen…Again!”

Richard JaramilloRichard “RJ” Jaramillo, is the Founder of SingleDad.com,
a website and social media resource dedicated to single parenting and specifically for the newly divorced, re-married, widowed and single Father with children.
RJ is self employed, entrepreneur living in San Diego and a father of three children. The mission of SingleDad is to help the community of Single Parents
“Make Life Happen…Again!”

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Richard “RJ” Jaramillo, is the Founder of SingleDad.com, a website and social media resource dedicated to single parenting and specifically for the newly divorced, re-married, widowed and single Father with children. RJ is self employed, entrepreneur living in San Diego and a father of three children. The mission of SingleDad is to help the community of Single Parents “Make Life Happen…Again!”