Ask SingleDad: Gassy Girlfriend

SingleDad wants to help you understand Single Parent Dating from a Man’s perspective. How To Date a Divorced Dad. This article is how to tell your girlfriend she has bad gas Read More…

Ask SingleDad: Gassy Girlfriend

SingleDad wants to help you understand Single Parent Dating
from a Man’s perspective. How To Date a Divorced Dad. This article is how to tell your girlfriend she has bad gas.

Dear Single Dad,

My name is Manny, I am a 49
year old divorced dad living in Dallas, Texas. I have two sons, ages 10 and 12.
It’s been over two years since my divorce was final and I am beginning to date.

I have a question and I need
your advice. My girlfriend Ashley has bad gas. How do I tell her to stop
farting in front of me?

Signed,

Smelly-Texan

Dear Smelly Texan,

I understand where you’re
coming from; it’s a tough situation.
How do you tell someone you like that they smell, or that they do
something that bothers you – when it’s a natural bodily function? Such a stinky situation. And I know that living in Texas – the
state that does everything bigger – must only amplify things, what with all the
baked beans and western goodness.
The best advice that I can give you is something that is applicable to
all situations, as big as Texas and as small as Rhode Island, and that is to
display understanding and honesty.

Gassy Girlfriend

Gas is a natural bodily
occurrence that we all have to deal with, constantly repressing it out of shame
or dealing with the embarrassment that follows a fart in public. This is when I ask you to have some
understanding. Do your farts smell
like roses and sunshine? I think
not, Smelly Texan. So next time
she toots in public and it’s obvious that you know, crack a joke to break the
ice and make her feel less self-conscious. You don’t want to make her feel bad for something that isn’t
her fault, and for you to be understanding and accept her for all that she is –
that will go a very long way, trust me.

Lastly, I advise you to be
honest with her. If her stench is
really too much for you to take, maybe it’s time to tell her so – just like the
worst of farts, silence can be deadly.
Honesty is something that is vital in relationships, but so is kindness
and understanding so try to break it to her softly. Blame a smelly fart on the dog or one of your boys (classic
Dad move) and comment on its exceptional stank. This will show your dislike of her gassy ways without directly
blaming her for the lower air quality.
And if that doesn’t work, you can always try fighting fumes with fumes –
see how much she really likes a Smelly Texan.

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