Making the Most of Your Time with Your Kids

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Like most single dads and divorced fathers, I cherish my time with my children. I am fortunate enough to spend every weekend with them, although it never feels like enough time.

Like most divorced fathers, I cherish my time with my children. I have two boys from my first marriage, ages 2 and 4. I am fortunate enough to spend every weekend with them, although it never feels like enough time. I try to make the most of our time together, so as soon as I drop them off on Sunday nights, I am already planning what we can do together the following weekend. One thing I’ve learned is that children don’t really care what the activity is, as long as they have their father’s undivided attention. For us divorced Dads, it is quality over quantity when it comes to time with our children.

I thought I’d share some of the fun things my boys and I have enjoyed doing together. Rain or shine, with a little imagination, there are always ways to create lasting memories. Some things we enjoy doing cost money, but other things cost nothing, and yet they all seem to bring the same amount of smiles and joy to my boys’ faces.

There’s nothing my boys seem to enjoy more than a day at the park. Whether we go to a local elementary school and play on the jungle gym, or whether we go to a baseball field and play ball for a while, my boys are happy. Often we’ll pack lunch and bring a blanket, and other times we’ll bring their bikes so they can ride around on the hard top without having to worry about passing cars. We always bring a basketball and a bat and ball. My boys learn a lot about taking turns through these outings, as well as sharing my time and attention. They get to run around, burn off some steam, and just enjoy being boys. I love it. I love to see what they choose to do first. Sometimes they want to get right to playing baseball, and other times they’d rather sit and play in the dirt. Oh, and we also take lots of matchbox cars. It’s amazing how much time the kids will spend with such small, travel friendly toys!

Another cost free activity we enjoy is simply a walk through the woods. Whether we go to a State Park or a less known path off the beaten track, the boys love to explore. We always grab hiking sticks, and they enjoy discovering little things in nature, whether it is a salamander hidden under a rock, or a bird who happens to be singing like crazy, they seem to thrive on the excitement of being surrounded by nature. Often I’ll let them direct which paths we take, and when they get tired, we stop and sit. It gives us a chance to talk or just observe our surroundings. Sometimes our visits are laid back and carefree, and other times, depending on my boys’ moods, it can be an educational experience, giving me a chance to teach them little facts about nature they haven’t yet learned at their young ages. Either way, the kids get to walk, run and feel like they have discovered a special, private place to share with their Dad. I enjoy these walks as much as the boys do.

Kids love the ocean. If you don’t want to travel to the ocean, most people have a pond or some sort of reservoir nearby. Anytime my kids are near water, they are happy. Even if it is too cold to swim, they enjoy throwing rocks in the water and collecting seashells or even rocks. We love to fly kites on a windy day. It doesn’t really matter what we do, but just being outside in the fresh air seems to keep the boys smiling, not to mention how well they nap when we get home!

Like all little boys, my kids love to see construction trucks. Anytime we can take a ride to sit nearby a construction site and observe what’s going on, they get so excited. This activity doesn’t last very long, but they enjoy it! They name the different kinds of trucks they see, and no matter how often they’ve seen it, they always seem to enjoy watching the front end loaders dumping dirt. It’s a simple, free and easy way to create fun moments for the kids.

Now this may seem obvious, but often divorced fathers feel they have to go places in order to entertain the kids. Not so! My kids love a day in the backyard. Since the backyard is a familiar place, it might not have the wow factor of going to the beach or to a park, however, as long as I’m out there with them and interacting with them as they play, they seem to enjoy it just as much. Sometimes we’ll play a game, or play trucks in the sandbox, or I’ll just push them on the swings. As long as I’m not just sending them into the backyard on their own, not that that’s a bad thing once in a while, as kids need to learn to entertain themselves sometimes, they are excited and happy. Kids just want us to do things with them, and most of us want that too, since our time is so limited. A day in the backyard for us also usually consists of a cookout in the good weather. The kids enjoy eating outside, having hotdogs, and toasting marshmallows afterward. If you have a pool, you have built in entertainment that the kids usually never tire of! If not, get one of those wacky, crazy sprinklers. They are fairly cheap, and the kids love cooling off in them, especially when the water sprays out in unpredictable directions. Simple, clean, easy fun!

Last summer we took a trip to the Kancamagus River (off the Kancamagus Highway) in New Hampshire near the White Mountains. For a small fee, we were able to swim in the river. There were a lot of shallow swimming holes and my four year old loved climbing on the rocks and watching the water swirl around him. If you have a river nearby, make a day of it. Bring lunch and hang out by the river. Oh, and kids love waterfalls too. Sometimes we hike in the woods and we’ve come across some really cool waterfalls.

Of course, there are a host of other activities that cost a bit of money, but that also make for great day trips. Each summer we make a trip to a water park. There are even indoor water parks now that are open year round. We also hit an amusement park each year, and we like to play mini-golf too. We recently went to the Harlem Globetrotters, which my four year old enjoyed, but not as much as my twelve year old stepson. My four year old seemed more interested in figuring out the mechanics of the chair he was sitting on, so age definitely comes into play when figuring out what fun activities are right for your kids.

Most towns have museums nearby, and most public libraries offer discounted passes to museums. Call your local library or check their website for details. We love the Children’s Museum in Boston. It is fairly inexpensive for hours of fun. There are other local museums, and as long as the kids have hands on activities they can do there, a museum is always a safe bet. I don’t think I’d be taking my boys, given their ages, to an ancient Egyptian artifact museum, but surely the museum located in an old firehouse with a firepole does the trick. Anything to stimulate their minds and curiosity seems to work. They love to interact with other kids their age.

Last week I took the boys to the New England Aquarium. They loved seeing the sharks, turtles and jellyfish. They had a great time. To make it more fun, we took the local ferry to the museum, which is located on the Rose Wharf in Boston. That’s another things kids love – a boat ride! Sometimes just taking a ferry somewhere and back is entertainment in itself. We took the T on the ride home because my boys love trains, and they enjoyed the ride. There you go! Take a ride on the T! I know my kids loved it. Sometimes the key is trying to see the world through our kids’ eyes. Things we don’t think are very special are sometimes amazing treats for them.

Many towns now have indoor playgrounds. Often these places have climbing equipment, inflatable jumpers and even rock climbing walls. We’ve been to a couple, and the kids always have a blast. It’s nice to see my four year old help his little brother climb up onto things, and it’s also nice to see how the kids interact with other kids. They learn how to wait their turn, how to deal with other kids who might be too pushy or rough, and they develop gross motor skills, all while burning off energy! My wife isn’t as big a fan because of the germ factor in those places, so we bring sanitary wipes, and the kids always bathe when they get home. If you can move past the germ factor, which most of us Dads can, it can be a great place for the kids to play and have fun.

In the Fall, we always make time for apple picking and going on a hay ride. There are some really great places that also offer fun mazes for the kids to walk through, train rides, and pumpkin picking. The key is to do some research and find out what’s out there.

Check the internet for local activities. There are many websites that you can sign up for that will send you weekly notices of local activities and events in your area. Often you’ll hear about things like local festivals, arts and entertainment for kids, outdoor music concerts, etc…

Whether you’re having a lazy day at home in the backyard, or whether you’re jumping on a boat or heading to a museum, the key to creating lasting memories with children is really about being present and being involved. Your attention and participation in the activities they enjoy is all that is needed to create memorable moments. Good luck!

Richard JaramilloRichard “RJ” Jaramillo, is the Founder of SingleDad.com,
a website and social media resource dedicated to single parenting and specifically for the newly divorced, re-married, widowed and single Father with children.
RJ is self employed, entrepreneur living in San Diego and a father of three children. The mission of SingleDad is to help the community of Single Parents
“Make Life Happen…Again!”

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Richard “RJ” Jaramillo, is the Founder of SingleDad.com, a website and social media resource dedicated to single parenting and specifically for the newly divorced, re-married, widowed and single Father with children. RJ is self employed, entrepreneur living in San Diego and a father of three children. The mission of SingleDad is to help the community of Single Parents “Make Life Happen…Again!”