How To Be a Better Dad: Caught in The Middle 

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How To Be a Better Dad: Caught in The Middle 

How To Be a Better Dad is the fatherhood and co-parenting section on SingleDad. Share and exchange great fatherhood advice from our members who are in all stages of fatherhood. Today, we learn about how to continue co-parenting while supporting your child through a rough patch with their other parent. 

Dear SingleDad, 

My ex and I are divorced and share 3 kids together. 2 girls and 1 boy. Our oldest is 13, our middle is 12, and our youngest is 9. My ex and our middle child (daughter) have recently been fighting NON STOP. At times, it affects our co parenting relationship and my relationship with the kids. Any suggestions? 

-Todd, 48 

Arguing is not unusual, but it is not enjoyable for anyone involved. I hope these suggestions can be of use and make a difference for your relationships. 

  • Listening Ears

Being the middleman can be exhausting, but you may be the only one in position to do so. Everyone seems to be highly emotional and acting on those emotions. You being on the outside looking in can see it in a more rational light. You’ll also be more open to listen to understand rather than respond. When did this constant fighting begin? What started it? Talking to your daughter one on one may guide you to answers and teach your daughter how to communicate effectively. Make sure to check in with your other children as well because they can be affected just as much. 

  • Stand Tall 

You are your other children’s protector. If there is any physical outburst, that is a must to step in. Your ex is their protector and mentor in life; He/she may need to be held accountable if fueling the fire rather than finding a resolution. Stand tall beside your children, reassure them they have your support, and only do your best to control what you can. If there is no changing your ex’s behavior, show your children better. Do what you can do to create a positive environment. 

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