How To Be a Better Dad: Affairs 

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How To Be a Better Dad: Affairs 

How To Be a Better Dad is the fatherhood and co-parenting section on SingleDad. Share and exchange great fatherhood advice from our members who are in all stages of fatherhood. Today we learn about what to do if you or your partner had an affair. 

Dear SingleDad, 

I share 2 kids with my wife and we have been married for 15 years. I have had an affair with a man for about a year and a half now. He recently found out I am married with a family and has threatened to tell my wife if I don’t. It could be all talk, but if it’s not, do I tell my wife the truth? 


That is quite the mess to put yourself into and it sounds like this man you are with wants no part in it either. I hope this article can help steer you in the right direction to make the best choice for your family. 

  • Vows

Marriage is a promise that comes with responsibility. When you chose to marry this woman 15 years ago you promised one another you would stand by each other, love, grow together, and share. You two promised to share a life and honesty. As you already know, this affair betrayed what marriage stands for. Have you taken a step back and felt that? How does it make you feel? Do you want to be honest with your wife because of your own morals or because you possibly will be caught? 

  • Who Are You? 

Why did you have an affair? Are you open about your sexuality to your wife? Are you in love with your wife? People do grow apart and we do move on, that is okay. That’s normal. But if you aren’t honest with yourself how can you be with anyone else? Do you want to save this marriage? Do you want to move on and co-parent? Figuring yourself out and being honest with yourself about what you want will be easier for everyone involved. Life comes more naturally to those who are living as their true selves. 

  • Leave The Kids Out of It 

When you tell your wife (I believe you should) make sure it is not around the children. This will already be so much to process for one person and it is only between you two. Remind each other the children are not involved or deserve to feel what pain you both have in your marriage. 

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